ChristVenture
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Present Day
Here I am sitting at my hospital window watching the rain fall from the heavens above. It was almost five years ago my trials began. I don’t blame GOD for my sufferings. It was my own doings. Although all the worldly problems are not my doings, it was my lifestyle and the sins I have done that shaped the future of my life.
A Troubling young life
People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.
Proverbs 19:3
Although my mom was not a Christian we went to church and to give in to my mother's persistence to let me decide on which faith to choose when I grow up. my dad and my grandma agreed
14 Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and
enticed by his own desire.
James 1:
Agreeing to this was the beginning to culminate to more compromise. When I was 6 years old my dad began, to have marital affair and we were going into turmoil. I went to church and prayed for my parents. I thought it was because of my birth they were fighting each other. I hated GOD for creating me. I told GOD at the steps of the church at Blessed Sacrament that if The Lord did not put my parents back together I will never worship HIM ever again
I stopped worshipping GOD and as in Genesis my life began to spiral down as I went further and further away from GOD I grew angry, frustrated, and easily agitated. Constantly angry I joined gangs, fight, smoked crap, drink even in school and VITB (Vocational School).The frustration and anger towards GOD was immense that I could not see the gifts and blessings HE gave me. I was blessed with incredible determination and great skills of athleticism I was good at dancing, singing. I did modeling. I was creative in anything I did.
BUT
I always fell short because I hated the
Lord tremendously and never thanked HIM for all HIS gifts (skills). I drifted
further and further away. I joined gangs. I was involved in gang fights. I
wanted someone to kill me in fact in all anger to my parents and to GOD I
rebelled.
Another disaster came. My
mom wanted me to get married to my long term girl friend and forced me to it, which
failed. I did not want to be like my parents. I always dreamt of a perfect
family. With kids and dog a perfect setting of a perfect family. It was not to
be. I was devastated.
This time, I realize it was
not GOD’s fault. Ii was my fault. It
was not the people who were around me at fault. It was my fault. Not my parents. Not my family. Not my granny. Most
of all, it was not my father. It was
entirely my fault. It was at this point of a great depression, I decided to
change. My sister introduce to me to Covenant Evangelical Free Church (CEFC). I
have been here ever since.
I was
silently attempting suicide and was hospitalized during these period and the
doctors found out about the depression and suicidal issues and began therapy
for depression and long talks.
My
mom was of cause not very happy about my converting to Christianity.
I made
my choice
13 No
temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he
will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he
will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1
Corinthians 10:13
Born again Christian in 2007
In 2007 I was baptizing
in CEFC. As I became Christian I tried my very best to keep things to myself. I
tend to keep away from a lot of things.
2018 The great change
“Don’t hang on to old hurts. You can
spend your years blaming God, blaming other people. But in the end it was a
choice.”
In 2018, my mother got bedridden. I had no job since 2013. I was
simply earning from my freelance work and decided to work as a security as what
MSF officer in Queenstown advised me to do as I was over age. What an
incredible system and policy we had. I thought. I am able and can walk and run
and had a BSc in Business and HR with a Diploma in Computer and 25 years of
experience in accounting and they ask me to be a security guard. I was angry
for being in an environment that was simply good at its lip service. I than realized
I was a lip service myself to the LORD.
I got my aunty Dana to send food and my cousin sister to deliver the food to her as I went to do my security course. After lessons I had to buy food at ‘Takka’. Market and rush back to give her for dinner. I than told her the job required me to work 12 hours shift and she would need to go to a hospital for long term care as I saved some cash to get a helper
BUT
alas, as I visited her after my 12 hour shift and shuttle up and down she will always ask me to stay with her past midnight. By the time I got home it was One (1) in the morning then back to work at Six (6) am. I did not feel tired at all as I wanted her to get well. I seriously miss her as I am writing this. While I was hoping she would get better, situation got worst. I stayed with her, Prayed and sang to her BUT on the faithful day on June 5th at 12 midnight, she just went away. I thought she can pull through. BUT I believe she is better to be with the LORD .
It was in this period or some would say season, I got depressed again. I was sneaking out to smoke three (3) packs a day. Drinking a little wild in the night. These culminated with the depression I got myself really into huge trouble.
Warnings
There was something very strange. Ever since. I became Christian. If I was about to sin, my Cross on my necklace will fall off. It was after a while I understood why. These days when the Cross falls off my chain I retrace my thoughts and my actions and refrain from doing anything bad.
In four (4) years I had seven (7) surgeries. I nearly lost my right and left leg. But I they were saved BUT I lost my right toe, In the event I could not walk. I became wheelchair bound. My kidneys failed. I lost my hearing due to painkillers.
It was a month. After my mom pass on. I was in NUH Emergency and somehow GOD was always with me. I had no one with me and went to the hospital simply using just one leg. Almost crawling as the taxi driver left me far away from the entrance because he missed a turn. In the Emergency ward I knocked out. A total darkness and there The Lord sent a doctor by the name of Babu who explain to me that he will have to amputate the right leg.
All hope was lost in that one second. I said to myself, “Lord, what’s going on? Have I not suffered enough?”I woke up after the surgery and found my leg were well.BUT
the pain was immense. They
tried to stitch the leg back but was having problems doing it but with another
surgery manage to put it all back well and I was sent to St Luks for rehab.
In it all, the Lord sent people like Brother Francis whom I met in church that
helped me in my journey. Although we separated when I had to move out of the
rental place to another, I still owe him much of my life as he had helped me in
my journey. The LORD have place good childhood friend in my journey too.
Friends like Patrick, Louis, Mangeet, and a wonderful brother Ravichandan in my
long hard journey. Not forgetting my girlfriend who brought on Pastor Portia
from CEFC, to pray for me during the challenging times and Pastor Williams who
baptized meme in 2007. Not forgetting my Bible study group of Yew Tee and
Brother James. St Luke Nurses. Voon my childhood friend in UK who came to visit
me in Singapore, my secondary and primary school mates and many other more that
the LORD have sent to me to give encouragement in my battle of challenges
Events that had happen.
2018 – Right leg saved
2019 – Right leg surgery again due to a fall
- Right toe amputated
2020 = Kidney failed
= 2 kidney operations
-
Left leg operation due
to infection
2021 – Kidney illness
2022 – Tummy scan
-
Eye surgery (Awaiting)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful
and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
It was a struggle of
pain in the journey. In all of it I experience an invisible hand that brings
people together. Put strangers and friends in place to help. We can never
understand many things and the purpose or reasons for these things to happen.
BUT in all these experience I understand one thing the LORD Jesus is there helping
us. The Lord out there wants to forgive us and bless us. If you worship Him
with humbleness and ask for forgiveness, HE will be ever ready to hold you in
HIS arms and lead you lovingly. Remember the Bible is a very powerful book.
I never was a believer and have been the worst
sinner but in my journey (from atheism, Scientology, Hinduism, even Buddhism)
the LORD has taken the the blindness from my eyes and have led me out of the darkness
4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
2 Corinthians 4:4 — The New International Version (NIV)
Please pray for me
Please pray that I can get back into volunteering such as in Steady Readers and
other youth projects and serve the community. Pray that a miracle happens and
Jesus cures me from my kidney illness and make me walk again. Pray that I can
work like I use to work before and help people. Pray that my new BTO will be
made comfortable for me to live in. Pray that I can have a lovely family with a
cute doggie.
It’s my last phase of my life and I hope that I will not sin and do good for
people in my community. Therefore, I urge people to pray for me and for people
to forgive me as I go on my remaining life.
We are his workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus for the good works which GOD prepared, beforehand, that
we could walk in them.” We serve and volunteer confidently knowing that GOD has
prepared the way for us! GOD will reward us.
Ephesians 2:10
I am NOW in hospital waiting to go
for my eye operations. In all these I decided to confess to the LORD. I pray
that my story will lead you to salvation and to know Jesus Christ and to let
HIM lead you to a wonderful life journey. All glory to Jesus. In Jesus name.
AMEN
I shall be writing my
own biography after my eye surgeries. Me and my brothers (friends) were
contemplating starting a crowd funding or will be hoping the book will have me
fund my life as I could not find work I and my friends thank you for taking your time reading my Blog. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
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